Duvets Rule

‘It’s here’. My text was short and sweet, and yet it spoke a million words. I wasn’t sure if Hannah would be as excited as myself or even understand what it was my fingers were trying to relate to her. But that didn’t matter. It was here. It would change my life. It was my […]

More Tequila Auntie Jean?

Stumbling around, screeching at the top of their voices, linking arms and singing songs out of tune. They make you feel uncomfortable as you enjoy a drink and munch on pork scratchings. You daren’t enter a conversation for fear of a dislike of what you’re saying, thus in turn causing them to become aggressive. They […]

The Hire Ground

Oops! Almost didn’t get to write a blog this week. I was writing a short story about a bloke who attacked some kids on a London bus. Don’t worry, they were little shits. Oh, and they were playing ‘music’ through their phones. You see, it’s not all bad. But speaking of buses and London transport, […]

Beardy boo.

“Does it itch?” “How about when it gets longer?” “Does it irritate your girlfriend?” “Do you get food stuck in it?”; are most of the questions I get asked by friends and strangers alike. They are of course referring to my beard – Not my genitalia. The answers are always; No. No. No. Yes (Which […]

Full Plastic Jacket

I now own an anorak AND a rucksack. I can now carry my life upon my shoulders without the fear of getting wet. I may look like a German tourist, but hey, did you not hear me? My life. Upon my shoulders. Without the fear of getting wet. Okay, I admit I do feel a […]

Tube. Ribena. Poo.

Often, in this grand city of ours, we have a love/hate relationship with our beloved London public transport. On this day I was very much loving it. There I was, legs crossed, peering through my spectacles at the sport on my broadsheet paper. I couldn’t be more British. I boarded the Piccadilly Line in North […]

Facebook Filter

Phil left Facebook. But why? Surely Facebook is good for something….

The Tube Test – A Short Story

Her brow furrowed as she adjusted her looks, utilising the reflection which sat behind the man with the grey suit. Her skin, naturally tanned like a Korma, creased as her eyes twitched behind those big framed glasses. I liked those eyes. Magnified to almost comedic proportions, they still looked beautiful. I wondered if she ever […]

Breakfast. It’s GRRRRREAT!

A good friend of mine told me the other day that he doesn’t like breakfast. He’s a freak. But I’ve forgiven him. Only because I love him. But I also love breakfast and think everyone should love breakfast. In fact, you might say I’m a breakfast connoisseur. Everyone has thoughts on what makes a good […]

World Cup? Over? Okay.

I don’t want the other side to do well. I want them to lose. And cry. And then I can bellow ‘AAAAAAAAAH!’ as I give them the fingers.