‘Ello Mr Sandman

I’m tired. Really tired. In fact, I can’t get enough sleep. But no matter how many times I say this to people, they always respond with; “Yeah, me too.” No. Not you too. I’M tired, not you. I can’t feel your tiredness and neither do I care. I just want to sleep. Now get out […]

Macca Smacka

Okay, I admit it. I’ve just been to McDonalds. I don’t feel good about it. I don’t even know why I did. I wasn’t hung-over or anything, I think my body told me it was time for my next ‘fix’ and so I reluctantly adhered to my body’s plan. Is that called addiction? Surely you […]

Happy Poo Year!

It’s mid-January. It’s very mild outside. Rain is gushing down from the sky in Australia’s ‘Sunshine Coast’, and England are undisputed Ashes champions. Should we be worried? Maybe. Global warming? Yeah, why not. Or is just down the world evolving? Yep. Probably. Most unnerving is the incredibly mild temperatures in what is now our mid-winter. […]

There’s Mo Limits

I entered the cafe. No-one noticed. No-one showed their concern. No-one cared. I cared though. My furry friend had gone, was no more. The friend who had awoken me every morning for the last month with a gentle hurrah. The friend who offered advice and installed in me self-belief. The friend who tickled me when […]

Duvets Rule

‘It’s here’. My text was short and sweet, and yet it spoke a million words. I wasn’t sure if Hannah would be as excited as myself or even understand what it was my fingers were trying to relate to her. But that didn’t matter. It was here. It would change my life. It was my […]

More Tequila Auntie Jean?

Stumbling around, screeching at the top of their voices, linking arms and singing songs out of tune. They make you feel uncomfortable as you enjoy a drink and munch on pork scratchings. You daren’t enter a conversation for fear of a dislike of what you’re saying, thus in turn causing them to become aggressive. They […]

The Hire Ground

Oops! Almost didn’t get to write a blog this week. I was writing a short story about a bloke who attacked some kids on a London bus. Don’t worry, they were little shits. Oh, and they were playing ‘music’ through their phones. You see, it’s not all bad. But speaking of buses and London transport, […]

Beardy boo.

“Does it itch?” “How about when it gets longer?” “Does it irritate your girlfriend?” “Do you get food stuck in it?”; are most of the questions I get asked by friends and strangers alike. They are of course referring to my beard – Not my genitalia. The answers are always; No. No. No. Yes (Which […]

Full Plastic Jacket

I now own an anorak AND a rucksack. I can now carry my life upon my shoulders without the fear of getting wet. I may look like a German tourist, but hey, did you not hear me? My life. Upon my shoulders. Without the fear of getting wet. Okay, I admit I do feel a […]

Tube. Ribena. Poo.

Often, in this grand city of ours, we have a love/hate relationship with our beloved London public transport. On this day I was very much loving it. There I was, legs crossed, peering through my spectacles at the sport on my broadsheet paper. I couldn’t be more British. I boarded the Piccadilly Line in North […]