You Realise You’re Getting Old When You Find Yourself Knocking Back Rennie at a Gig

There I was: Camden Jazz Café, hands in pockets, jostling for a clear view of the stage. At intermittent intervals glancing sight of the fake Johnny Cash as he busted out another of his obscure back catalogue; one eye on the unnecessarily long queue at the bar; a drunk couple twice my age taking the stance that the […]

Read More You Realise You’re Getting Old When You Find Yourself Knocking Back Rennie at a Gig

I Fantasise About Killing the Street Salesmen Who Try and Sell Me Broadband On A Daily Basis

My friends and I, like the rest of you, have discovered the many uses of social networking app WhatsApp. Whether it be organising a group of disorganised fucktard friends, exchanging photographs of shrivelled penises, or exchanging words of unrivalled vitriol, there’s fun, and pragmatism for all the family. Recently, I’ve discovered that it’s been pretty darn […]

Read More I Fantasise About Killing the Street Salesmen Who Try and Sell Me Broadband On A Daily Basis

The New, New, New, Superman Arrives – But Does the Whore That Is Cinema Still Love Me?

Oh, hello cinema. What’s that you got behind your back attached to that very massive marketing campaign? Come on, let us see. What’s this? Another Superman film? Another film to explain how a character that’s been talked about our whole lives came about? But cinema, surely now we understand it. Don’t we? No? Hang on, I’m pretty […]

Read More The New, New, New, Superman Arrives – But Does the Whore That Is Cinema Still Love Me?

Eek! A Big Yellow Orb Arrives in Time for the London Marathon – And My Reasons to Bloomin’ Love It

Run for hills I tell you! There’s a yellow orb in the sky! What on Earth…..?! Its emergence spells only doom. The end is nigh! Those weirdo religious freaks were right! It’s here! It’s here! A big ball of yellow sent straight from hell. There, look at it. In the sky! Shining down, bringing warmth […]

Read More Eek! A Big Yellow Orb Arrives in Time for the London Marathon – And My Reasons to Bloomin’ Love It