You Realise You’re Getting Old When You Find Yourself Knocking Back Rennie at a Gig

There I was: Camden Jazz Café, hands in pockets, jostling for a clear view of the stage. At intermittent intervals glancing sight of the fake Johnny Cash as he busted out another of his obscure back catalogue; one eye on the unnecessarily long queue at the bar; a drunk couple twice my age taking the stance that the […]

Read More You Realise You’re Getting Old When You Find Yourself Knocking Back Rennie at a Gig

I Fantasise About Killing the Street Salesmen Who Try and Sell Me Broadband On A Daily Basis

My friends and I, like the rest of you, have discovered the many uses of social networking app WhatsApp. Whether it be organising a group of disorganised fucktard friends, exchanging photographs of shrivelled penises, or exchanging words of unrivalled vitriol, there’s fun, and pragmatism for all the family. Recently, I’ve discovered that it’s been pretty darn […]

Read More I Fantasise About Killing the Street Salesmen Who Try and Sell Me Broadband On A Daily Basis

My Game Of Thrones Marathon Is Finally Over; But Now I Talk Weird and Smell of Poo

WARNING: May contain spoilers. But then, may not. Who cares?! It seems you can’t go anywhere these days without some mug invading your personal space and playing the whole “Have you seen…” game. “Have you seen Breaking Bad?” “Have you seen Game Of Thrones?” “Have you seen this mole on my cock, it’s really big and tastes […]

Read More My Game Of Thrones Marathon Is Finally Over; But Now I Talk Weird and Smell of Poo

The Quality Street Revolution – My Struggle With Britain’s Favourite Festive Treat

It’s January. And, if like me, you’ll likely visit friends’ houses moaning about your lack of money and whether or not it was a good thing you didn’t get into Rolf’s Cartoon Club (I’m still undecided). More often than not, after consuming all their bread and savoury snacks, I’ll ask if they have any chocolate – which […]

Read More The Quality Street Revolution – My Struggle With Britain’s Favourite Festive Treat

The New, New, New, Superman Arrives – But Does the Whore That Is Cinema Still Love Me?

Oh, hello cinema. What’s that you got behind your back attached to that very massive marketing campaign? Come on, let us see. What’s this? Another Superman film? Another film to explain how a character that’s been talked about our whole lives came about? But cinema, surely now we understand it. Don’t we? No? Hang on, I’m pretty […]

Read More The New, New, New, Superman Arrives – But Does the Whore That Is Cinema Still Love Me?