Richard Madeley – T’autobiography Chapter 73 ‘Lorraine’s Growler’

The message from Gordon the Gopher was abundantly clear: sexually seduce Lorraine Kelly with your penis or face, or face the consequences with your face or penis. I wasn’t quite clear on what those consequences were, but I imagined it was a darn sight worse than licking the porridge-clad labia of a Scottish spinster who […]

Richard Madeley – T’autobiography Chapter 68 ‘Gordon the Criminal Gopher’

I’ll be honest, I shit my pants big time. Little did I know that in less than 24 hours I would be dancing naked on top of Lorraine Kelly’s bedside table shouting “I’m a big girth banana, come play with me you massive Scottish twat whore”. Gordon the Gopher, despite being recognised by millions all […]

Richard Madeley – T’autobiography Chapter 53 ‘Anal Jacking’

I remember the first time Judy and I tried anal. We did it so much I was sure Judy wouldn’t sit down for a week. But, you know what? She did: she’s a bloody professional. Her stoic willingness to carry on is one of the very few things I admire about Judy. It reminded me […]

Richard Madeley – T’autobiography Chapter 46 ‘The Shower’

It was all very intense and, before I knew it, I had ejaculated all over the wall. There I was, Richard Madeley, TV Times television personality of the year 1993, standing naked in a shower with excrement on the floor and semen on the walls. Judy was going to be angry. Really angry (like the […]